escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
