I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
