Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
