Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I supernannyed him into submission
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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