So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
