very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
