My sheets look like a crime scene.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
