oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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