Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
