let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
