Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
