You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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