I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
