i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
