and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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