Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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