is your mom at the bar?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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