I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
