ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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