He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
