Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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