so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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