Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
