"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
