Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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