new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
