do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
