carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
