i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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