and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
