that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
