Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
