I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
