she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
