she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
