if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
