the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
