Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
