Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
