wat bout pragnant strippers??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
