Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
