i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
