There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize