So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
