so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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