I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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