A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
