evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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