The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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