i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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