tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
