i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
