I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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