On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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