Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
