You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
