Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
