You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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