I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
