There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
