Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
