There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
