At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
