Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
