how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
