i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bring money and cleavage
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
