been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
